Far Away
by breezygirl
Summary: Stephanie reflects on her lost love and hopes to get him back.


Far Away

_JE owns the characters, Nickleback owns the song_

We hadn't seen one another in months. It's my fault. I told him I was confused, that I had feelings for Ranger and needed some time to figure things out. He shook his head, said he knew about Ranger and if space was what I wanted he'd give me plenty. I was crushed, terrified that I'd lost him for good. All of a sudden my feelings for Ranger didn't seem that important. I thought maybe Joe would come around. But time passed and I didn't hear from him and he didn't return my calls. The next thing I knew he was dating a doctor; she was an ER intern who stitched up a knife wound he got during an arrest. Not that anyone told me Joe had gotten a knife wound on the job. Nobody talked to me about Joe or vice versa; he didn't even get calls about my crime scenes anymore. I did, however, hear all the gossip about the doctor. She was young, pretty, blonde, in really good shape and was taking very good care of Joe. And the worst thing of all, she liked Bob. How could I compete with that? Not that Joe cared. They were seen everywhere together, the station, the hospital, the mall, Pino's, his house early in the morning and late at night. Damn! I was so screwed and it was all my fault. I had a great guy, the best guy in Trenton and I was too wrapped up in my overeager libido to see it.

_This time, this place_

_Misused, Mistakes_

_Too long, too late_

_Who was I to make you wait?_

_Just one chance_

_Just one breath_

_Just in case there's just one left_

I promised my mother I would attend mass on Sunday, Val's oldest daughter was taking her first communion and I knew I had to be there. Little did I know that Joe would be there, with her, watching his nephew also taking first communion. It was horrible, I was miserable seeing them together; I was sitting behind them and so glad they couldn't see me. Joe looked so handsome in his suit. They sat close, he had his arm around her; they were laughing together. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. As we filed out of the church our families ran into each other. Just my luck, they had plans go to Pino's and so did we. Both families spilled into the best pizza place in Trenton and I was overwhelmed.

_'Cause you know, you know, you know_

_That I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

_And I miss you_

_Been far away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me _

_And you'll never go_

_Stop breathing if _

_I don't see you anymore_

I couldn't help myself, tears swelled up in my eyes, I thought about how stupid and immature I had been. I had to leave, get out, away from all these people, especially from Joe and his new love. I ran outside, and then realized I had come with my parents. I started to call Lula when I felt a hand on my arm. I recognized that touch; it was Joe.

"Are you ok? He asked. "I'm fine" I answered.

"No you're not." He said. "What do you want Joe, I messed up, I lost you. I'm miserable and it's my own stupid fault. Just go back inside to your new girlfriend and leave me alone." By this time I was crying like a baby and everyone inside was watching.

"Is that what you really want?" Joe asked, I looked at him not sure what to say. I knew the answer but I didn't know how he would react if he heard the truth.

_On my knees, I'll ask_

_Last chance for one last dance_

_'Cause with you, I'd withstand_

_All of hell to hold your hand_

_I'd give it all I'd give for us_

_Give anything but I won't give up_

_'Cause you know, you know, you know_

I took a deep breath and decided to tell him just how I felt; I mean I couldn't feel any worse could I?

"I love you Joe Morelli. I have since I was six years old. I made a mistake with Ranger. He told me he loved me but he didn't. He just liked to control me. You don't like my job but you never tried to manipulate me with it, you were just worried about my safety. I'm sorry Joe, so very sorry. I know that you are with someone else and we are over but I hope you can forgive me."

_So far away_

_(So far away) _

_Been far away for far too long_

_So far away_

_(So far away)_

_Been far away for far too long_

_But you know, you know, you know_

The tears once again started to fall, I dropped to my knees and I cried my heart out. I didn't care who was watching. I felt Joe's warm, strong hands, this time lifting me up.

"Cupcake, I forgive you. And I'm not with anyone; I was for a while but then we realized we made better friends than lovers." I hated thinking of Joe as someone else's lover.

"But I saw you with her at mass; you were sitting close and laughing. And she's here."

Joe gave me a warm smile just like he used to,

"She always attends mass and we were sitting close cause she was telling me a funny story about a guy who came into the ER with a toy poodle attached to his ass."

_I wanted_

_I wanted you to stay_

_'Cause I needed_

_I need to hear you say_

_That I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

_And I forgive you_

_For being away for far too long_

I looked at Joe trying to tell what he was thinking. I quietly asked, "So does this mean we can try again, that you will give me another chance?" Joe let go of my arms, his cop face fell into place, his voice was hard, "What about Ranger?" Okay so here it goes, I thought, don't screw it up.

"I called Ranger right after we broke up. I told him that I love you; only you. I let him know I wouldn't work for him or with him anymore and if he let himself into my apartment again I would call the police. I haven't heard from him or thought about him since. All I've thought about is you Joe, hoping that somehow you would give me one last chance."

_So keep breathing_

_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

_Believe it_

_Hold on to me and, never let me go_

_Keep breathing_

_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

_Believe it_

_Hold on to me and, never let me go_

_(Keep breathing)_

_Hold on to me and, never let me go_

_(Keep breathing)_

_Hold on to me and, never let me go_

I waited, searching Joe's face for some clue. Finally he said, "Cupcake, what you did hurt, I can't just forget about it. I won't do this again, I can't. Be sure this is what you want cause this is it, now or never, no more leaving, and no going back."

My heart soared; I threw my arms around Joe and kissed him for all I was worth. I had forgotten we had an audience watching from inside Pino's until I heard all the catcalls and cheering. I tried to pull away from Joe; my face was burning with embarrassment.

He grinned down at me, "Maybe we should take this someplace a little more private. Plus, I know someone who would like to see you. Bob has really missed you!"

Heat shot through me in all the right places, I know just what it means when Bob misses me. OH BOY!


End file.
